I've always been pretty chatty. From kindergarten onward, the only thing my teachers had to report to my parents was that I talked too much. I was voted Most Talkative in my middle school yearbook, making me oh, thirteen or so at the time? And that same year, my teacher decided to move my desk smack in front of hers to keep me from talking to everyone else, since the other dozen times she relocated my desk didn't stop me. Know what I did then? I started talking to her all the time. "Mrs. LaFosse!" I once whispered, after inspecting her (always) hand sewn outfit."You have a string hanging from your dress, want me to cut it off?" So embarrassing to think about now. It's like no, Krista, what the teacher wants is for you to focus on her lesson and not her attire. But that
I think I've cut back on the constant yammering though - or certainly have tried to - and now I spend a good amount of time assessing and reassessing what I want to say, if I should even say it, and to whom I say it. Because honestly? I've learned, quite simply, that no one really cares. My sweet grandfather, my Papa, said it best a few years back when he asked how I was doing. "Can't complain!" I declared. "No you can't, know why?" he proceeded to ask. "'Cuz no one gives a shit, ha!"
Now, my grandfather wasn't telling me that no one gives a shit about me, nor was he implying that he didn't give a shit about me; he meant that generally speaking, no one really wants to hear someone grumble about whatever it is they are decidedly grumbling about. And he's absolutely right! I read this recently about the impact of a positive response, AKA essentially lying to people if you're having a bad day (that's my condensed interpretation of it, at least), and I can't agree more. It's the "keep that shit to yourself" theory, where it's not always necessary to state every last thing that is on your mind, and to everyone you encounter. It jives perfectly with my "it is not necessary to react to everything you notice" new mantra, as well.
Does my friend want to know that I don't like her boyfriend? No - always no - she does not. Spare yourself from looking like the asshole boyfriend-basher, versus the Saving Grace you really swear you are, because it's not even your business to begin with, and now you risk losing your friend because she'll likely choose her guy over you. (Hard lesson to learn though, and I'm definitely still learning it.) Should I tell my friend I think he looks like a pompous dink, intentionally flaunting his new money on social media? Nope, spare yourself from looking like a straight hater. And he could easily buy a new friend to replace you anyway.
Ironically enough, just as I had decided to hit the 'send' button for the aforementioned "pompous dink" comment on my friend's Instagram photo, this scene from RHNYC popped on my TV screen (pardon the poor video quality):
Facepalm! A minute late and dollar short, I was. Glad there was some sort of divine intervention though, albeit a tad too late, because these helpful reminders are really worth noting for the future. I really need to think about whether it's my place to say anything and refrain when it's not. Or to just refrain from talking in general. This way, someone else has a chance to talk too, ha.
(Unfortunately for anyone reading this, when I really want to "talk" about something, you'll be the first ones to "hear"about it.)
(PS, how hysterical is Bethany Frankel?! That was like one big run-on sentence, and it was great, IMHO.)