Thursday, April 9, 2015

Getting Real(ish).

I tend to stay away from writing about things that are upsetting to me. In many ways, I'm not writing about the vast majority of my life--not to say the vast majority of my life is upsetting. It's weird, because what I want to read from other people are real life things. I like relating to others, and I too want to feel relatable; but for me, typing things out just makes them more...real. And I've mentioned this beforethe scary thing about putting it all out there is just that--putting it all out there.  People can see what's going on, and ask about further details or updates. Maybe that's the hardest part for me, knowing it's potentially inviting a conversation that I don't want to have. It's hard to be reminded of a tough time (especially when you're living it), and should anything go further South, I'd need to admit that out loud, too.

Most of the time, I really don't want the reminder.

I've mentioned my little guy, Ziggy, has epilepsy. I haven't mentioned that over the last couple of weeks, he's had some big health scares. He's dropped a good amount of weight, now he has a thyroid condition, and we are in the midst of further testing to see if he has Addison's Disease. He's a trooper, but it's a lot to learn at once.

My ex was really helpful with the dogs. That's one of the harder parts for me right now, in relation to Ziggy's health, as I'm dealing with everything alone again. A part of me feels like I went through a divorce, and now I have the kids full time while the other "parent" is absent. They are, in fact, my dogs, and I did it all alone B.B. There's a big difference though, going from having no help, to having help, back to having none again. Particularly when it comes to health issues, like dealing with Ziggy having a seizure on my own. That scares the absolute shit out of me. I can't run and hide in the bathroom until it's over now; I'm going to need to be front and center, dealing with whatever comes our way--by myself. I know I can do it, and let me tell you, he's surely worth it.

No comments:

Post a Comment