Friday, March 20, 2015

13 tips on how NOT to ask for a girl's number.


I'm just going to dive right into this one...

Sometimes, I think we (the ladies) need to break it down a bit for the (seemingly clueless) guys out there. So fret not y'all, here I am to be of assistance. Without further adieu, here are some solid tips on how not to ask for her number:

  1. If you don't feel there's a mutual attraction, don't ask. (Or at least shelf the idea until you feel out any future potential.)
  2. Eye contact does not mean she's interested, fellas. Homegirl is just trying to be polite when speaking to you.
  3. This is also applicable for smiling. (See above reasoning.)
  4. If she doesn't seem into you, believe her! I understand guys aren't mind readers, but you would absolutely know if she's even somewhat interested. Most girls aren't eager to stay single--trust me, she'll let you know when interested.
  5. Don't (figuratively) back her against a wall when asking for her number. (And I think this goes without saying, but don't literally do that either.) Sure, you'll get her number when you corner her as she's walking her dogs, but only because you left her with two choices: coughing up the number, or running away with her two dogs in tow (I might be pulling from personal experience).
  6. Now, if you essentially trap the girl who is not interested into giving up her number, don't call her and ask her to hang out an hour later. Particularly, after she had just told you she was staying in that night and all other nights.
  7. And if you are her neighbor doing both 5&6--after ignoring tip 4--good lawd be certain she is attracted to you before you approach her. If not, you'll likely run into each other even more now (despite her new efforts to completely avoid you), and you'll feel pretty uncomfortable when you see her strolling out of the apartment building early one morning with a guy. 
  8. The same principle applies if you work with her. Except, of course, you won't run into her before or after work--you just wont be able to run away from her during the day, while you're at work.
  9. Don't ask for "digits." 
  10. Don't say things like "God gave you everything--except my phone number!" 
  11. Don't fork over your business card--unless she actually is into you, and despite it being 2015, your cell phone isn't on your person. It can either make you look like a straight up dink, or prove a good and necessary resource. (It will also assure her that you have a job. Bonus points for having your shit together.)
  12. Don't call or text her immediately after she gives you her number to confirm if the number she gave you is legit. 
  13. If you give her your number instead, don't put her on the spot and ask that she test-call or text you, so you can save her number in your phone (we hate that).  
Okay, so there you have it, in the form of 13 thought-out instructables. In the meantime, I'll be actively working on dodging my neighbor.

1 comment:

  1. After two+ decades I still can't think of a single polite way to say "No dude, I don't want to give you my number" without it coming across rude. it's the WORST, ugh. Hate being put on the spot like that.

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