Thursday, October 18, 2012

Romanticism vs. realism.

(Google image)

My heart believes in fairy-tales; but my brain knows better. The two often collide, however, and leave me in a state of utter confusion.
I was totally that little girl who had a binder full of wedding ideas. I had Tommy Hilfiger perfume that I refused to use because it was solely dedicated to my first date. I only watched romance films ("wherefore art thou Romeo?"), and swore I was going to name my daughter Juliet.

Yep, I was that girl.

It's not my fault though. I mean, aren't we basically bred to love love, in utero, onward? Two people meet, fall in love, and from all this love, create a love child. That love child will grow up and hear their parent's nostalgic stories, watch Cinderella on DVD, read Romeo and Juliet in school. Hell, now they can watch reality love on "the Bachelor" or "the Bachelorette" on TV (season 9 is coming up, by the way).

The romantic notion that you have a soulmate somewhere out in the world, simply waiting for you to find them, makes you want to root for love. Especially if it's like how it's shown on TV: Academy Award attire, fancy champagne, glitter ascending from your heels when you walk. You know, the ush.

But it's also kind of depressing--isn't that a lot of pressure, to find one specific match? What if you don't find them? What if after you do, something happens to them? Are you just plain SOL?

I certainly don't think so, and I do think your heart and mind can coexist somewhere together, and create some sort of harmonic rhythm throughout life's complicated journey. I don't think you can lose your chance at love. It's not that simple. If you moved to Los Angeles instead of Chicago, you're not single because your potential husband-to-be is waiting for you in Chicago. There are men in Los Angeles who fall in love and get married, too--but you need to remember that! It comes down to the way you think, really.

I came across an article defining a "lifemate." Instead of just one person, many people may come into your life--no matter the length of time--to teach you things: love, loss, forgiveness, etc. A lifemate! I had never heard of it--but it so makes sense. It's a pretty profound--and comforting--idea.

Paying homage to the lifemate idea, I'll be adopting this as my new life mantra:

"In opening our hearts as widely as we can, we can only allow in more love and compassion, for little is the possibility that in caring we ever truly lose out."

(Can I get an "amen!")


"Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with" (Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City)

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